A Formal Inquiry into the Defeat of Lord Fuse
by Orson Zedd
Summary: Dexter is summoned to Homeworld for an audience with the Great Diamond Authority to explain how his forces were able to stop one of Gemkind's ancient foes. Spoilers until the end of Season 5 of Steven Universe
1. Chapter 1

The legs were silent, the only sound coming from the air being moved out of the way, and even that was brief. Very soon, the pilot came over some kind of crystal intercom, "You are now free to move about." The voice belonged to an individual called "Facet-413 Cabochon-12", Steven's personal pilot. That was, at least how she introduced herself. Steven called her "Centi" and regaled Dexter with the story of how they met.

Steven was from Beach City, Delmarva, a tiny beach town on the complete other side of the country from Townsville, California and Dexlabs. Still Dexter had seen the other boy during surveillance, and of his species, the Gems, Dexter knew one thing, whether it was Providence or the Plumbers telling him, "do not interfere", and he hadn't. It was quite surprising then that the Gems came calling for him, nearly immediately after the battle had ended, and not Steven's friends either, though there were many, and they were an eclectic bunch to be sure. The request had come from the Great Diamond Authority itself, to speak to Dexter about the destruction of Lord Fuse. Dexter was still preparing for the event, pouring over his notecards for any eventuality.

His companion and by many metrics, best friend, was Benjamin Kirby Tennyson, known through the galaxy as "Ben10". He'd been assigned to Dexter shortly before the Fusion War and never looked back. In spirit, they were very unalike, but if one could cut away the rest of the matrix, polish them, and cut away a few imperfections, they were pure diamonds indistinguishable from one another. Video games, action figures, movies, music, all loves the two shared and so too, did their host, Steven Universe.

Steven was the youngest of the Diamond Authority, and the explanation was complicated but effectively, he was his mother, and she was the youngest of Homeworld's rulers. He was largely the reason for Era 3 and the beginning of Homeworld's outreach to "inferior organic lifeforms."

"Wow," said Steven, that's a lot of aliens, and you can turn into any of them? Can I see one? It wasn't that he didn't watch the news, but he wanted to see it himself.

"Well, the Omnitrix," the device which gave Ben his powers, created by Asimuth ,the great thinker, "tends to be a little particular. I just scanned a new alien, so it'll default to that for a while."

"New alien? Oh you mean us, right? Well, why don't we see that?" Steven asked

Ben loved showing off and did so with aplomb. "It's hero time!" he dialed in the new alien on his watch and smashed down the face. Every cell in his body rearranged and what was left was, well, a bit of clay stuck to the Omnitrix. In a matter of sections from the clay emerged a humanoid form, gray and tacky, "Bentonite!" he said.

Dexter barely looked up from his notes to address the change, "Ben, don't be racist."

Steven chortled a bit, "Actually, we own your planet so it's technically assimilation."

It was kind of funny, but also true. Dexter had been briefed on the Diamond Authority several times before this trip, and no one failed to mention that the Gem Homeworld considered Earth a colony. It was important, therefore, to never assert Terran independence, and Dexter's audience with the Diamonds wasn't just a diplomatic visit. He was, essentially, being subpoenaed by the rulers of his planet. At least, he thought, that included Steven and whatever was decided, he'd been assured Steven would have final say.

Dexter put down his notes and reoriented his glasses and sighed, "You know who I wish were here?"

Bentonite, without missing a beat, replied, "Nigel, right?"

Dexter's expression immediately changed from his usual frown into a sulking frown. "I was going to say Magister Tennyson."

"It's okay man, I miss him too."

"Wait," Steven asked, "Who is Nigel?"

Dexter, Steven could tell, clearly didn't want to think about this longer than he had to, but said, "He was the leader of the Kids Next Door. Numbah 1. He was also our friend, and saved both our lives during the Fusion War."

"Oh," Steven said, "I'm sorry for your loss. Um, who is Magister Tennyson?"

"My grandfather," said Bentonite, "He's a Plumber like me, but couldn't go. These ships are so fast he didn't think his body could take it coming out of warp. Our fastest ships would take years to reach another galaxy and this place is a few galaxies away, I hear."

"You'd have to ask my friend Lars, took him months to get back from Homeworld, so he's seen everything. Every time I go, it's just in some windowless ship like this."

A screen appeared in what looked to be an ordinary and empty wall. The face on the other side was an Indian girl, about the same age as Dexter but easily several inches taller, "Hey guys, you wanna get something to eat before we land?"

"Yeah, Connie," said Steven, "I'll be right down. You guys wanna come?"

The omnitrix made a strange sound and Ben returned to his original form. "Oh heck yes. Come on, Dexter, you need to eat too."

Steven approached a wall with a handprint on it. Touching it opened a door, and somehow, that door was an impromptu mess hall. Dexter would have sworn that was the way to the bridge though, but wrote it off as a kind of Gem technology, that was only the tiniest bit ahead of his abilitity.

The pale woman in the blue jacket was setting up place settings. Dexter knew her as Pearl, and she even had one on her forehead. Gems sort of assigned functions to their beings and pearls were the servants of statesmen of a sort, making sure everything was done properly and in the correct order, flawlessly. Pearl herself, however, Steven mentioned, didn't like eating, even though she could, because digesting disgusted her. Whatever the case, she was an expert at food preparation, and had made sure to prepare Dexter's favorite foods, broccoli and liver and onions. She had not prepared Ben's favorite foods, and so his appetite suddenly fell away. He could not, for the life of him, find the stomach for liver. So he filled a plate full of broccoli.

"I hope you enjoy it. Dr. Tartofsky was sure to send your family recipe." Pearl mentioned.

"Yeah, I hope I enjoy it too," thought Steven and Connie, to themselves.


	2. Chapter 2

Steven's greatest superpower, and there were many, was his empathy. It wasn't an innate ability, but one honed over his entire life to tell just how people were feeling. It was remarkably good and the fifteen year old had the emotional maturity of someone much, much older. As Dexter understood it, his mother, the original owner of his gem and, in some ways still him, had a much harder time with empathy. She had emotions, but never knew how to tell what others were feeling. It was almost like a soap opera, some of the stories Dexter had heard, but he felt he probably didn't have the appropriate context for a lot of it.

"Hey, Dex," Steven noticed Ben called Dexter, Dex and thought maybe the use of his informal nickname might put him more at ease, "don't worry about it. They're not going to be judging you or humanity and rendering a verdict. This is a fact finding mission; you part is really just a small piece of the whole story."

Dexter cocked an eyebrow. He knew the Gems had some history with Fuse, but nothing had been elaborated on, because his contacts didn't really know much at the time. "That's true," said Pearl, "Fuse has been an enemy of Gem kind since, oh, before I emerged. I had Homeworld send us a history reel to brush you up on what we know."

"Yes," Dexter thought, "that might be very important to know."

Pearl projected from her gem a screen. It was transparent, but easy enough to see to make out the important details. When she spoke, it wasn't the sing-songy voice she normally had, but that of someone else from somewhen else.

"Era 1, the brilliance and perfection of the Great Diamond Authority rules over three dozen worlds. All is well, as new gems are created and the planets are gemformed into new colonies for our growing empire.

"But not all is well. From the vast reaches of intergalactic space came a planet called Fuse. Made of an exotic type matter, the planet launched salvos of exotic matter to the colony of Petavius 5, consuming it, and all those on it. Survivors who made it off world described what they had seen to our great leaders, and a plan was made to stop them should ever they return.

"And so they did, attacking the Thebit colony, but this time, they were met with the full force of the Diamond Authority. War waged against Lord Fuse for years, every shattered gem becoming another part of the growing fusion forces. The brilliant White Diamond decided that the colony couldn't be saved and enacted a failsafe, sending the planet, and Lord Fuse, careening back through the void of interstellar space."

"So they're hoping I can give them information on how they got to Earth?" Dexter asked.

"Well, they still consider Earth to be one of their colonies. It could just be that they want to know how Fuse was defeated, considering the minimal help from gemkind."

Dexter shook his head, "Seems unlikely. I submitted my report in writing about the series of events culminating in their defeat. Gotta be prepared for anything."

A pinging noise rang through the ship, "This is your pilot. We will be entering real space in five minutes. Please return to your seats.

The return to real space was an odd sensation, different from any other kind of space travel Dexter had ever felt, like his back was coming before his front and his left was right of his right. Was no wonder Magister Tennyson didn't think he could come. He vurped and could taste liver again.

Dexter had requested a screen to watch their approach. He'd never seen Homeworld and heard that the sight was spectacular. It was, in a very sad way. The entire planet had been cracked down the middle. Gravitational disruptions had moved its rings away from its rotational axis. The albedo of the planet was quite high, gleaming like a diamond in the depths of space. He wanted to know what happened, but decided it wasn't important enough to ask about just right now.

Approaching the ground, what appeared to be square patches of yellow, blue, pink and white, began to resolve into millions of colorful individuals awaiting the return of one of their great leaders. Once the legs landed, their entourage exited the foot, the Nephrite pilot and a contingent of gems Dexter hadn't met, Steven, Connie, Pearl and then Ben and himself. The entire assembled crown crossed their arms in the shape of a diamond to greet them.

A team of gems Dexter didn't know approached them, "You're late my Diamond! The inquest has already been assembled."

"It'll be okay, Zircon!" said Steven. "We're here now!"

Zircon sighed, "Better late than never, I suppose." Zircon made a bubble around the group, which resolved into a kind of car. "You really know how to cut things close, my Diamond."

Steven grinned. You could tell which gems knew Steven well enough by how they addressed him. Anyone calling him, "My Diamond", was a gem Steven didn't know very well. There were exceptions, Steven tried to be nice about it, but generally after a little while they would calm down and start to understand him.

There were arms and a head and torso nearby, but as slowly as they moved along, Dexter could tell those ships were miles away at best. Their architecture reminded him of the covers of old science fiction novellas he'd buy and read by the dozen. Nothing, it would seem, cast a shadow, with the exception of the great hall dead ahead.

Dexter could feel the temperature change as he entered the building. No more wind, just stagnant air and whispers that could tell him, though he couldn't see, this place was immense. The only lights were on the three diamonds, and a fourth spotlight where Steven would sit. From here they looked like small dolls if held right in front of his face, though they began to grow and were suddenly larger than life.

"Thank you for bringing him, Starlight," said the largest of the three women. "And to you Dexter, thank you for your time."

"Thank you, my diamonds," Dexter said, making the pose he'd been taught.

"Let this inquiry of the loathed enemy, the Fuse, commence. These beasts were the demise of two, nearly three, of our colonies, and we intend to figure out why they chose this world and engage with warfare against us once more."


	3. Chapter 3, or I'm lazy about uploading

The yellow Zircon cleared her throat and straightened out the vestments neither of which, really, were real and her clothes were always perfectly straight besides. "If you would please tell the court how you first encountered the fusion matter?"

All eyes were on Dexter. This had been weighing on him for some time, and neither the Providence, nor Earth government athorities knew this. Plumbers only knew it because he'd let it slip the first time they showed him the fusion matter under a telescope, binding to normal matter as it does. This was an old shame. He replied, "It all started six years ago. I had hoped to become the first human to encounter extraterrestrial life. I didn't know most of the things I do now about secret organizations and the dominion of your lustrousnesses over Earth. So I sent out a homing beacon in hopes of being the first to discover extraterrestrial life."

"Are we to take it that your hopes were answered?"

"Yes, well, a funny thing happened one night, after looking at the stars for hours, I decided to pray to anyone who would listen, to deliver me proof of alien life. Almost magically, a meteor landed directly in front of me. The impactor was only a few centimeters across, but the impact had cracked it and a green slime filled its interior. In Cosmos, Neil de Grasse Tyson says the first life we find might be unicellular, and to be honest, that was even more than I expected. I thought it might be amino acids or nucleic acids, but after running analysis after analysis on it, I discovered that the strange green balls looked a bit like the first phospholipids that might have given rise to organic life on Earth. I wasn't sure it was even alive until I noticed the tissue sample had the strange ability to assimilate other organisms. As I began another tissue sample for DNA analysis, the, I called it, gooey alien escaped its confinement.

"Trying to subdue it, it split and the pieces ducked into a nearby pipe. As I searched for it, it sought out other organisms to possess. I'm not entirely certain how it managed to infect my family, but very soon they were creating a transceiver with parts in my own lab, carved from blueprints carved in a wooden table. I fought my own family, rendering them unconscious, and killing the gooey aliens as they tried to escape once more. Then I destroyed the transceiver. At the time, I was almost positive I had destroyed the transceiver before it was activated."

"It was a few years later when the first terrafusers fell to earth. I was abducted by a group called the Plumbers and carried to a secret laboratory where, under a microscope I analyzed the fusion matter and, much to my horror, it behaved the exact same way the gooey aliens had. I believed that somehow I'd called attention to Earth."

Yellow Diamond, the second most senior, and most serious looking of the diamonds, spoke, "Is it still your belief that you called Lord Fuse's attention to Earth?"

All the sweat and fear, the preparation and studying, this was really one question he'd hoped he could avoid, "It is no longer my belief that I called Lord Fuse's attention to Earth."

Gem courts were quite a bit more lowkey than Earth courts. The background noise was minimal, because no one wanted to anger the judge. Contempt could mean poofing and bubbling, maybe shattering if it were a bad day, but the building's ambiance had gotten noticably louder.

"If I may, your brilliances," Dexter asked, "I'd like to speak with my counsel."

Dexter knew that, right now, they could say no and he'd have to continue until they were satisfied with the information. "Proceed."

Rather than leaving, a room grew around Dexter and Ben, sealing them off from the rest of the court.

"Well," said Ben, "there goes you being able to take credit for the whole thing. Guess you gotta come clean, huh?"

"I'm not going to risk an intergalactic war if I can help it, Benjamin."


	4. Chapter 4

"Alien DNA detected."

"Yes, I know, thank you Omnitrix, you're being really useful right now." Ben wondered who it could be talking about. Everyone for yards afield were human best as he can tell, the child soldiers that had given Dexter sleepless nights, trying to rationalize the ethics of using children to fight a war, especially being a child himself. It could, perhaps, be a half-alien hybrid, but it was really hard to tell if anyone had natural abilities when everyone had technology so advanced it bordered on the magical.

Normally, Ben would have rushed to the front lines, but this wasn't just any fusion. This was Fusion Jack, the first and as far as Ben was concerned, the worst of the fusions. Every bit of Samurai Jack's knowledge of martial arts and swordfighting had been imbued in this mouthless green Chinese re-color knockoff. Luckily no one had gotten terribly close, using their ranged weapons instead of charging in with mêlée attacks to hold him off.

Well almost no one. A kid somewhat shorter than himself, wearing no armor and holding only a pink shield approached him. He was then followed by a girl of indian descent, only slightly taller than the first kid. Ben threw caution to the wind. He wasn't going to explain to Dexter or the Grim Reaper why a couple of kids Leeroy Jenkinsed one of the strongest foes he'd faced, but he stopped when he noticed hw Fusion Jack's attacks were easily parried by the girl. Meanwhile the boy threw his shield like he was Captain America or someone. To dodge the attack, Fusion Jack jumped backwards onto the eponymous Huntor's Perch, to give his the hivemind some time to think about what to do next.

Ben wasn't sure what happened next. He might have blinked but after a flash of light, there was now one kid, older than him and slightly taller. If they were aliens, having to hide from people like the Forever Knights or Dnaliens would handily explain their prodigiousness in battle. "Oh yeah!" Ben thought.

"Unknown Alien DNA detected, scanning." His watch surrounded the two… childreenagers? In a green light, and finally the Omnitrix opened up, allowing Ben to transform.

At first, the onlooking soldiers couldn't quite make out what had happened, the Omnitrix was there, on top of a rock, until light emitted from it, turning into a humanoid figure with the texture and consistency of ashen clay.

"Well," said the new alien, "at least this feels familiar." His arms became poles, stretching at Fusion Jack to knock him down, and as he fell the alien children stabbed him through with their sword. Jack began to spray fusion matter everywhere, and the assembled children started collecting it, like candy from a piñata. "And to think I was worried."

By the time he turned around, the children were running off, which Ben found odd. No one he'd trained would pass up some fusion matter. Enough of it could be treated with imaginary energy and turned into a nano. Not everyone had a nano and those that did could always do with one more.

"Hey wait!" he called. They didn't seem to hear him or listen so he sluiced, was that the right word he wondered, over the assembled crowd and in front of the fleeing pair. "Where'd you learn to fight like that?"

"My uh," wondering what term he should use, "older sister," said the boy.

"Yeah, his older sister," said the girl.

"I'm Ben," said the clay man.

"I know who you are!" Steven couldn't really hide his enthusiasm, "I used to see you on the news all the time. I'm Steven."

"Connie," said Connie

"So, you two are part alien, huh? I'm surprised I never met you before. I guess your parents weren't plumbers."

"I'm not part alien, my dad's a security guard and my mom's a doctor," said Connie

"Um, no," said Steven, "my dad runs a carwash and my mom uh, well she's… me."

They returned with Ben to DexLabs that day, to make introductions.

"Well we've been fighting these, uh fusions you call them?, all along the eastern seaboard. Normally we can get around but they've been blocking us from warping. That's probably why we haven't met before."

Dexter couldn't hold it in any longer, "Outstanding! So your mom and your friends are a species of inorganic um, rock people?"

"Don't say rock people;" said Steven, "It's offensive. We're gems."

"And you say 5751 years ago, gems conquered Earth, I'm just…" Dexter removed a few hundred dollars from his wallet and handed it to Ben.

"Go ancient aliens," said Ben. "Crazy theories 1; sane theories a billion."

"Magister Tennyson, did you know about this?" Dexter asked.

"There's a lot we don't tell civilians, Dexter." Max could be cryptically unhelpful like that sometimes.

"So when you were born, your mother… became a part of you, is that correct?" Dexter asked.

"Well, you see, my mom was, is, her gem. Their forms are purely holographic, their real bodies are their stones. Mom chose to give me her stone when I was born, so she is part of me." Steven held his breath a moment, "Oh and you should know, the Diamond Authority still believe they have dominion over Earth."

"We can't cede dominion of Earth to them!" Dexter said.

"It's not all bad news, because it's my mom's colony, that means it's my colony."

"That makes me feel SO much better," said Dexter.

"Dexter, bit of advice," said Max. "Nearly a dozen other alien species think Earth belongs to them. Try not to sweat the big stuff.

The loud voice of a woman blared over the intercom, it was that of Dexter's computer whom, until today, was the only inorganic lifeform Dexter knew and, despite her best attempts with Dr. Utonium, the only one who couldn't reproduce. "All senior staff please report to the War Room."

"What in great Einstein's ghost is going on?" Dexter asked.

"Guess we'd better find out," said Ben.

"Computress!" called Dexter. After doing so a floating blue head appeared in the middle of the room, emanated from a projector, "What is this about?"

"Apologies, Dexter, a lone soldier has engaged with Lord Fuse."

"How?! His location was classified, no operatives were to know it!" Dexter calmed down a bit. "Steven, I'm sorry to cut this short. I hope we'll be able to speak at length some other time."

Steven smiled, it was odd for him to not, "Count on it."


	5. Chapter 5

It had taken a bit of persuasion but the request was granted.

"Your, uh, court proceedings are quite a bit different from ours, we don't really have a thing such as state's evidence," said the nervous wreck of a Zircon.

"The idea is that we learn what the diamonds already know so we can best defend those we represent," explained Connie.

A door opened from a wall and Steven and a few guards walked in, "Okay guys, what was that all about?" Steven asked. He wasn't angry, at least, insofar as Ben or Dexter could tell. He was, however, much more stern than they'd seen him before, perhaps it was just a lot of concern.

"Can we tell him?" Ben asked.

"It's Steven, we have to tell him," said Dexter.

Steven's expression changed noticing how somber Dexter was. Dexter was abrasive and rude, sure, but he was always exuberant and he hadn't been this entire time. "Listen, Dexter, if you don't think the Diamonds should know, you shouldn't tell me. They're my family and we can feel each other, so nothing you say would be secret."

Dexter lolled his head from side to side. "We'll have to eventually," he replied.

"Maybe, but you probably should know what the Diamonds already know. If you have to tell me, you can later."

An entourage of large beefy women called Topazes marched in front of the procession with Steven close by. No one on Homeworld would likely dare try and shatter him, but the optics were important, doubly so for gems.

The door to a prison opened, and immediately everyone with real noses were taken aback. It was a smell rank and contemptuous, one no one thought they'd smell again. An eerie green glow clung to the underside of a wall, where a door would open. Dexter pulled out a wrench and Ben hovered over his Omnitrix as the door opened.

The green haired man smiled, "Oh hey fellas! Fancy seeing you here!"

"Yo Dexter, the control room is this way!" said Ben.

"I know; I have to check something first." Dexter replied.

"Oh, I know where you're going with this."

Down the hall was the containment room, and in a large bulletproof glass enclosure was the distorted, discolored form of Dexter himself, Fusion Dexter.

"Tell me fusion, what do you know about a hero facing Lord Fuse by himself?"

Fusions normally didn't have mouths and couldn't speak besides. The fusion ripped his face open to produce a jagged red smile. "Youuu were moving too slowlyyy."

"Woah," said Ben. Dexter concurred.

"This is Numbuh 5, the fusions around Genius Grove just melted, what in the heck is goin' on?"

"Yo Dexter, you ain't gonna believe this bud! Megas is free!"

"Dexter, sir! The fusions have melted all around the cul-de-sac!"

"Everyone please standby," Dexter said, "We're awaiting confirmation. Agent 92, what happened?"

"Lord Fuse is dead," came the voice of someone no one knew that well, "and I am his destroyer! No need to thank me everyone, but yes, I am very awesome—"

"Channel muted," said Computress. "Dexter, what are your orders? Dexter?"

Back in the containment room, Dexter confronted his doppelgänger, "What do you want?" he asked.

"Iiiii waaaant tooooo," the fusion coughed up a bit of matter, "talk a little bit about what's going on, because I think we really want the same thing."

"Start talking."

"You and I, we have an equal intellect you know, and Lord Fuse, was not quite the brightest mind of a thousand worlds, purely instinctive and acting entirely on impulse. His biggest weakness, however, was creating me, I should think, because I was smarter than him and could see how everything he was doing was wrong."

"You mean morally?"

"No, just efficiently, you see, fusion matter is what your scientists call dark matter, and it, er, we love to congregate around baryonic matter. Somehow, Lord Fuse assimilated a planet long ago accidentally realized how much it needed life. The only problem was, it just didn't know when to quit. Absorbing Earth would have been catastrophic for both our worlds! Planet Fuse is far too massive now to maintain its current structure should anything be added. Its contents would melt and, well, fuse killing all life on it, fusion or not."

"Wait," said Ben, who had heard most of it, "why aren't you melting like the other fusion matter?"

"Excellent question Benjamin, or as I like to call you, original Benjamin, you see, those creatures were mindless, dispossessed of any kind of intellect, major or minor. Without Lord Fuse, they simply couldn't retain cohesion. Oh and this really gets to my point, you really need to let me out, or else the other fusions will probably go crazy and wreck the planet.

"Surprise!" said Fusion Dexter.

"Why in the name of Newton, Einstein, and Hawking are you here?" Dexter asked.

"I was just returning Thebit and Petavius 5, and all of a sudden, my entire planet's getting invaded and I'm arrested because I'm the only one smart enough to lead them. They didn't believe that was why I was there, even though I left the planet, returned their survivors, and started to leave. Would seem they're still monitoring it. Whoops!"

"Great, fantastic," yelled Dexter, now we've got another group we have to save from being wiped out!

"Aw, you do care."


	6. Chapter 6

"Billions of years ago, from the dark matter halo of your galaxy, a world coalesced around the bit of baryonic matter that came its way. It was great, and wonderful, filled with nature and sound, and it was alive in more ways than one. But mostly, it was lonely.

"Once it realized that circumstances far beyond its control had kept it away from most everything else, a desire sprang up in it, to seek out and befriend a new entity like itself. But the first world it found wasn't like itself. It, true, had nature and sound and life, but was not, itself, alive. Feeling bitter and betrayed, the first world consumed the other, fusing itself to all its life and, in doing so, new feelings grew within it. Feelings like anger and hatred, jealousy and pleasure, and ever empty, it needed more.

"Just a few short years ago, it took notice of your Earth colony with its eyes from afar, and started its mission to consume it. By this time, the planet, Fusion, had become so large with so many minds assimilated, that doubts were beginning to swirl within its collective mind, so Lord Fuse had been formed to ensure that indecision would not cripple its advancement. However by the time he'd set his sights on Earth, planet Fusion was beginning to collapse, the gravity of so many world pulling through the mire of fusion matter towards one another in a collapse that would destroy all life on it."

Ben had been nodding along and one could have been forgiven for thinking he wasn't listening, "Sure but how did you know all this? You weren't formed until you took Dexter's wrench."

"Wow, I like you. I wish any of my Bens were this smart. They're all meatheads. Sorry, yes, that's true but part of my essence was in that fusion matter, and thanks to incorporating Dexter's terrifying genius I was able to overcome Lord Fuse's, well it's not a great word for it but let's go with, mind control enough to work against him."

"And that is why you told that child where Lord Fuse was?! They could have been killed!" Dexter rarely got this mad these days, this was like when he'd yell at Deedee, but much angrier. Seething in his anger, his face had flushed red with blood.

"Maybe," said Fusion Dexter, "But they didn't."

"That is hardly the point!"

"Look deep inside yourself Dexter, I know you wouldn't have risked anyone else's life if you'd had to, and you know I wouldn't either, because I am a part of you. But I couldn't act against Lord Fuse; I needed someone else's help."

"So you decided to risk the life of some kid instead? What kind of horrible monster would put children in the line of danger because they were too cowardly to do it themselves?!"

"Well, uh, since you asked, you would," Fusion Dexter knew exactly what was going to happen next.

"I am NOT like you!" they both said.

"Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT! I couldn't fight an entire planet by myself! Planet Fusion absorbed our world's heroes and our military, and I had to work with what I had. I would NEVER have resorted to using child soldiers if there was any way we could have protected the adult soldiers we already had! I couldn't find a way to harness imaginary energy effectively enough for adults to be protected! It was the only way! It was the only… way…" Dexter cried softly to himself now, and not being much help for comfort, Ben held an arm around his friend.

"It was the only way for me too," said Fusion Dexter.

"No you had another option," Dexter replied. "You could have told me."

"Hey Dex, you feelin' okay?" Ben asked after Dexter had had some coffee. Pearl pulled a blanket from her head and wrapped around the boy, and directed him to sit down.

"I can't imagine how it was talking with one of those awful fusions."

"I think I'm so smart, that I can solve any problem, but I'm—"

"One person," said Ben. "You're one person, and you did what you had to do to save the world. None of it was your fault."

"No, but I was responsible. I put children in danger; I'm just as bad as Nigel!"

Ben didn't say anything, and looked askance at the others in the room, "You don't mean that."

"I didn't." Dexter rubbed his forehead with a glove, "Now we need to save planet Fusion too. This is, just wonderful."

"You mean you believe him?"

"He didn't use the same voice I do when I lie. I can't help it, and he can't either I'm sure. There's one problem. But that won't convince the diamonds will it? Pearl, can you help me communicate with Earth?"

"Certainly, I'll just need a bit of time to get everything ready."

"Steven, can you find out for me where Planet Fusion is now? Also, if you would, ask the Diamonds for a continuance, we need to investigate something before we can present it as true."

"You've got it."

You are Dexter, teen genius. You can do this!


	7. Chapter 7

Three Months ago…

The following is a secure recording that was obtained by Plumber intelligence shortly before the beginning of the Fusion War. Permission of a magister or higher must be obtained for access to this file.

"Hello? Come in? Can you hear me?" asked a boy.

"No, no you gotta push this thingy over here," replied a girl.

"No don't! Aw, now look what you did." The rainbow monkeys theme blared over the speakers, from a website designed by someone from the previous century.

"What? I like this site! Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys."

"Enough already with the rainbow crud. Come in Numbuh Vine, are you there?"

"We love you!"

"You did not—this is an official Intergalacticus call!"

"Intergalactic." 

"Uh, whatever. You don't say I love y—"

"Operatives, are you there? Do you read me?"

"Oh, hi Numbuh Vine."

"Numbuh 3 and 4, greetings. Are preparations underway?"

"Yep we posted the video just like you said." Replied 4.

"Excellent now everyone on Earth will, wait… you what?!"

"We posted the video!" cheered 3. "All we had to do was press this button right here." The video returned to the Rainbow Monkey's website. "Hey, that's not it, but I love this song. Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys"

"Idiots! You're not supposed to post the video until after the countdown ends!"

"Well how are we supposed to understand all those weird alien numbers?" Numbuh 3 asked.

"Yeah, we never studied Canadian in school," Numbuh 4 added.

"They're not Canadian, you Earth dope! That's the galactic standard base-10 numerical system. It combines the pictographic treatments of galactic ancient base-," suddenly the upside down potted plant changes into a small corpulent girl. "Oh for the love of, now my human disguise is acting up. Who was running the tech department when I was on Earth? Numbuh Moron?

"Tell me about it," said, presumably, not Numbuh Moron.

"Holy fuck!" said Numbuh 3.

"She looked better as a plant," whispered Numbuh 4.

"I heard that!" Numbuh Vine yelled.

"So we messed up your dumb internet video thing. It's not like it had any cute cats in it," Numbuh 3 defended.

"Aaaanyway, what do we do now?" asked Numbuh 4.

"Now you get everyone off that planet," Numbuh Vine commanded.

"Eeeeh, EVERYONE?" the two asked.

"Everyone! Every Kids Next Door operative, every adult, every boy, girl, man, woman, and child, because they're coming, and they're coming soon—" an explosion cut Numbuh Vine off midword, as lasers fired violently in her lab. "Do it now, before it's too—".

The footage ended and the lights turned on. Dexter straightened his labcoat as he sat up, "What video was it they were referring to?"

"We've been having some trouble decoding the file. It's not like anything in any of our databases," replied a member of Plumber Intelligence. "Seems like an oversight on their part maybe."

"May I see the raw file?" Dexter asked.

"I mean, sure, I don't see why not, but I gotta warn you, we've had our best cryptographers on it for the better part of six months now, and honestly, I don't think that—"

"Alright," said Dexter, "let's see if this plug-in works." 

"Earth," began the file, sans video. "A class G planet, the only one in his locality capable of sustaining carbon based live based on its abundance of water and atmosphere. Home to over 8.7 million different lifeforms, the planet's dominant species is human, of which there are approximately 7 billion. Of that number, more than three quarters are over the age of 13, in other words, adults. That's why I have no choice but to do this."

Dexter looked around the room to make sure it wasn't his imagination. "Is that?"

"No!" called another voice on the video, "My family is there! Your family! Our friends!"

"It's ruled by adults," said the first voice, "Infested. Too far gone."

"What about Sector V, Hoagie, Kuki, Wallaby, and Abigail? Abby would never let you do this!"

"There, do we need any more proof of where this one's allegiance lies?" asked a robotic female voice.

"Species, indicative," called a mechanical voice.

Meanwhile, the briefing room was getting a bit hot, because what Dexter had begun to expect, everyone was now keenly aware. More voices called through the void.

"…and now my human disguise is acting up. Who was running your tech department when I was on Earth? Numbuh Moron?"

"Who are you calling moron? You've been on Earth so long you reek of adult! Just like that one."

A cacophony of synthesized voices argued, so loud Dexter couldn't make out just one, though he'd little down someone would be analyzing every bit momentarily.

"Peace, GKND! The decision does not come lightly. The decision is—"

"Don't do it Nigel, this isn't what the Kids Next Door is about!"

"Suppress! The Decision is Nigel Uno's."

"Galactic Kids Next Door rules!"

Dexter had taken his goggles off at this point. They were getting wet with sadness and anger. But all eyes were on Abigail Lincoln. She could barely stand to move, totally mortified.

"Nigel Uno, what have you done?"

"Hey Dex, how you doing?" Ben asked. He could tell already. Dexter was slouched over on his console and groaned slightly when asked. "I don't know that this will make you feel any better, but Nigel surrendered without incident."

"I've been thinking that, for the last year, I was responsible for the Fusion War. That it was my hubris that caused the invasion. You think I'd be happy to be so wrong."

"Ben nodded," there's nothing quite like your first intergalactic incident.

"He was my friend; I mean, I thought he was my friend. Why would he do this?"

"File went up before he even knew you. There're some beliefs about the self that we're, moment to moment, different people. Nigel wasn't who he was when he summoned fuse."

Dexter groaned. He wasn't in the mood for philosophy, "Leave it to a group of kids to enslave a giant planet weak to imaginary energy?"

Ben nodded.


	8. Chapter 8

"Well," said Ben, "I guess that's that then, not much to do but wait on Steven to get back and go home. Once again the Earth is saved, thanks to Dexter, Boy Genius!"

"I'd hold my breath," said Dexter, "Deliberation still isn't finished. Once everything is okay, then we can celebrate."

Indeed it wasn't long before Steven returned, along with a new friend. "Alright looks like some good news!" said Ben.

"Aaaand some bad news," Steven replied. "Good news is, they realize that Lord Fuse was really the one controlling Planet Fusion, and they'll let the fusions live in peace, back in the galactic halo with the rest of the fusion matter."

"You really did come through for me, you know, Dexter? I knew you would. If our roles were reversed I'd have done the same thing for you, so I never doubted you." Fusion Dexter, while still not entirely used to feeling, hadn't ever been so happy.

"Wait so what's the bad news?"

"They're preparing to attack the galactic Kid's Next Door. That was, really, like 80% of the deliberation. Not sure I completely disagreed with their reasoning either."

"Yeesh, oh well, probably shouldn't have attacked Earth. Alls well that ends well, right Dexter?" said Ben.

"No, Ben, we can't-"

"You're not suggesting-" though Ben wasn't totally surprised.

"If they could pull Lord Fuse's strings, they may possibly be formidable enough to take on the Diamond Authority. Even if they aren't, they could still cost many lives, perhaps even civilian lives, in the process. No, I think we have to."

Ben sighed, "Alright. I don't know how you'll pull it off, but it is what you do."

"I'm sorry guys," said Steven, "I really tried."

"We believe you," Dexter said. The wheels of his machinations were already in motion. "You have a psychic connection with your, uh, relatives, right?"

"Yeah, can't exactly control it, especially when we're this close."

"I need to use your communicator to get in touch with Earth; I think you'll understand if I do this in private?"

"Oh yeah, of course." In fact it was understood Dexter could use the communicatior to contact Earth for any reason, it was still nice to be asked, "But why not wait until we get back to Earth?"

"Not sure we can afford to. Every minute counts."

"Dexter to Peridot, do you read me?"

There was a bit of a delay, which was unusual since Dexter knew the communication was instantaneous, using something like tachyons or some such impossible nonsense that was the very fiber of his being. Still, he hadn't had the time to make one of his own yet, free afternoons were scarce these days.

"I told you it was going off. Hi Dexter!"

"Hello Peridot." Peridot was incredibly knowledgable about gem technology and could probably help revolutionize the world if he didn't do it first. She reminded him, a bit, of Eddward because of her ability to utilize anything laying around to make sophistocated bits of engineering.

"So how did everything go?"

"Well, everyone's still alive, so alright, but I need some help. Is Eddward there?"

"Yes, Dexter sir!" Peridot tilted the communicator over to the lanky and awkward teenager, "Everything's running smoothly on our end! How can I help?"

"I need to get to space."

Peridot and Edd looked at one another, "Um, sir, you're already in space."

Dexter realized how unspecific he'd been. "No, I need a different ship; one which won't arouse suspicion."

"Hmm, sorry Dexter," Peridot said, "I just went through your inventory, and Dexlabs does not have a superluminal capable ship. You do have a communique from Dr. Venture though. He's inviting you to a movie night on Gargantua I tomorrow."

"Ugh, ignore him. He's on my board but unless it's a meeting the less we have to do with one another the better."

"But maybe he has a ship you can borrow?"

"I trust that man's work as far as I can throw him. Even if he did have a superluminal ship, I wouldn't ride to Proxima in anything that hack built."

"Well, what if we found a ship and sent it to Gargantua 1, then you could swap out there and not only would it save some time, but you'd also save the energy it would take to reënter the atmosphere and take off again."

"That would work, there's just one problem."

"Which is?"

"I'd really rather not be anywhere near Jonas Venture if I can help it." Dexter thought a bit longer than he probably should have, "fine, transfer me to Magister Tennyson; I have a request."

Hey guys, you're probably wondering about the presence of Venture Brothers in this story. Well, they are, but not quite. See in Venture Brothers, Johnny Quest took place in the past, whereas in the Hanna-Barbara universe, Johnny Quest takes place in some kind of nebulous eternal present. So here we have a version of the Venture backstory set in the present day instead of the 60s. The reason I wanted to include him is that Jonas Venture is essentially what the Dexter from the original TV show would have grown into if his character hadn't been derailed.


	9. Chapter 9

"Ah Dexter, it's good of you to join us for Movie Night! Trust me; you're going to be happy you decided to accept the invitation." This wasn't the first Movie Night that Dr. Venture had invited Dexter to. Indeed, he'd lost count at how many times he'd shot the proposal down with having to work extra hard because of deadlines or, you know, planet eating monsters. "Heard you've been off to Homeworld, 'Ambassador Tartakovsky', glad it was convenient for you to stop by. Come, we've got some time before the picture show." The two began walking down the halls of Gargantua 1, the largest and most premier spacestation in human history. Indeed, there could be no questioning the genius of the great Dr. Jonas Venture. The place even had artificial gravity, which was technically impressive but a bit disappointing for anyone normally planet-locked like Dexter.

"I mean, how often do I get to go to space in my regular schedule anyway?" Ambassador? That's the first he'd heard of it. Who knows how these rumors get around, really?

"I don't like those rocks lording over us, you know. I'm glad a smart fellow like you will set them straight."

"They are quite fascinating you know, Dr. Venture? They're essentially living Von Neumann probes. The children of a civilization that was once like ours, no doubt."

"It's amazing, really," Dr. Venture said stopping in front of the door to the theatre, "You're like the son I never had."

"Um, you've got a son, right? Rusty? Maybe I'm misremembering?"

"I know what I said."

The movie was The Graduate, and luckily enough it had been on the "to watch" list, once he'd turned 18 and his parents wouldn't make a stink about it. Somehow though, this had been a good time. Here, between giant obligations was Benjamin Braddock and, in a way, Dexter too. If he were really honest with himself, trying to stop this war, and save Fusion Dexter and his people was nothing to do with altruism. All of this was because he didn't know what he was doing next. Then there was a very scary though that Dexter was still more like Dr. Venture than any good man ever should be.

In all, the experience hadn't been totally unpleasant, not really. But by Einstein's ghost, Bravo Squad better dock soon.

There were several teams at Dexlabs, for different fields of study. Team Delta was Dexter's own group of scientists and engineers. Team Echo was community outreach, helping Dexter find ways to "dextify" local communities, and keep politicians happy with their presence. Team November studied the magical and imaginary world. There were others, for instance, Team Hotel ran housing, but it unimportant.

First off the ship was Kevin Levin, who Dexter shouldn't have been surprised by at all, even though he was not part of Bravo Squad. "Alright Dork, you've got ten seconds to explain why you've commandeered my ship."

Dexter looked nonplussed at the mechanic. He knew the threat was hollow, since Dexter signed his paychecks. "We've got to stop a war between the Gempire and the gKND, and we need a ride that won't get us shot at."

"Right well," Kevin paused, "Glad we cleared that up."

Before long, Dexter and Ben boarded with their luggage and settled down in one of the passenger seats.

"What'sss the plan, Dexsssster?" hissed Mange. Great, the girls were still doing that independence thing, again. It hadn't worked the last few times but this time, oh sure.

Dexter had known Buttercup and her sisters longer than he'd known nearly anyone he still kept in regular contact with. In one of his fits of pretending to be a superhero, he and the sisters ended up at odds with one another, trying to save Townsville from Mojo Jojo. Taking note of his genius, Mojo tried to add Dexter's intellect to his own, but the girls saved him and everyone was pretty happy. It was their father, Professor Utonium that realized Dexter's Genius and helped him found Dexlabs.

The girls must be fighting about something. They were getting older and more experienced, so going solo wasn't nearly the horrible mistake it had been in years past. Dexter thought putting them each on different teams at Dexlabs would help them get some personal time, but something wasn't working and now wasn't the time to fix it.

"We're going to the gKND, and immobilize them. Hopefully Steven Universe will be able to convince his, uh, Aunts to call off the attack once they realize the gKND is defenseless," Dexter said. "I don't know what kind of opposition we'll face, but I brought you all together to prepare for anything."

"How are we going to get to the gKND without them blowing us out of the sky?" asked Abigail Lincoln, formerly Numbah 5. "Numb-Abby knows that they'll shoot anyone down without clearance. You're gonna need someone on the inside. Only person we know with that kind of access."

"…Nigel. Alright everyone; slight change of plans. Who wants to break into a Maximum Security Plumber Prison?"

"Oh no!" whined Courage. Courage had shown up quite unexpectedly to help stop Mandark's ill-fated attempt to show Dexter up, and take the world's glory. Trusting Vilgax had nearly destroyed the planet, but still, Dexter felt that he had to make things right with Mandark. He was twisted and evil because of Dexter's own evils and Dexter believed it was his responsibility to redeem Mandark. One thing at a time.

"Aw, hey it won't be that bad hound dog. I've seen all these movies. Everyone makes it out alive!" Dexter would like to note that despite the name, 'Johnny Bravo is not team leader and doesn't speak for anyone.' Johnny had been hired as a guinea pig originally, and ended up befriending Dexter's bodyguard, 'Jack'.

"Well Bravo you've never seen a Plumber Prison escape movie. Everyone dies in those." 'Thanks Kevin.' Why was he even watching? He was supposed to be flying right now.

Courage whines.

"You escaped," Ben points out. "Think everyone we've ever fought escaped."

"Think they'd go for a prisoner work release?" TOM asked.

"That's a good plan A. Has it ever worked before?" Dexter replied.

"It's frowned upon," Ben replies.

"Jack, you're awfully quiet. Any thoughts?" asked Dexter.

"Nothing will stop me from accomplishing my mission." Very cryptic; super cool. Dexter loved having a samurai for a bodyguard.

"Well alright!" said Ben. "Looks like we've got an optimist on board."

"Mmhmm, me too," said the last member of Bravo Squad, who hadn't been trying to hide or anything, Dexter was just used to her lurking around in the background.

"DEEDEE?!" Dexter screamed, "You can't be here! I've told you to stay in my Laboratory!"

"Please, Dexter, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm 15. I can handle a Bravo Team mission."

Well it was true. He and Abby were two years younger, there abouts, and Ben and Kevin were 17, so she was almost the median age. Unless he factored in Courage's age in dog years, that would definitely be a good argument but she was here.

"Fine, you'd better stay safe. Don't want to explain to mom and dad about how you died in space."

"This isn't my first time in space…"

"TOM, can you interface with the ship to confirm the coördinates?"

"No way," came Kevin's voice from the cabin. "My ship, I'm flying it."

"Do you know where gKND is? Because TOM does," said Dexter.

"Fine, not until we get Nigel. No one knows where that bucket of bolts came from, and I don't trust that he doesn't have some alien virus on him."

"Dudes, it's kinda hurtful when you talk about me like I'm not here," said TOM. It was a ridiculous notion. Dexter had plowed through all of TOM's files to rebuild him. The only problem was that he hadn't found this "GPS Absolution" that TOM piloted. A ship like that could advance his knowledge by lightyears. The only clue as to who had even made TOM was in his file "Toonami Operations Module v.3 ©1999-2007 Ghost Planet Industries."

Ghost Planet was, just that, a ghost. There were no references to its location in any database that Dexter could find. The Plumbers seemingly had no idea such a place even existed. Dexter knew they had built TOM. He also knew that they had to be aware of Earth's existence. Until he examined his programming, Dexter believed TOM was a kind of Von Neumann probe like he believed the Gems to be. Apparently, though, TOM was designed for deep space communication primarily.

Searching for the Absolution had been difficult. TOM was found on Réunion, strapped in a floating escape pod, but no searches of the area had turned up anything. It was possible, sadly, the GPS Absolution broke up on reëntry.

"Well, let's get started."


End file.
